Pricing
Pay for the bloom, not the wait.
Or pay for the wait. A lot of people do, and we've stopped asking why.
Seedling
For a single flower you're not sure about yet.
$0
Free forever, which for this product means about four blooms.
- 1 flower
- 20 bookings per bloom
- Alerts by email, after she closes
- "Powered by StinkSlot" printed on the rope
Pollinator
For conservatories that will get on the local news.
$490 per bloom
Billed when she blooms. Nothing happens in between, and you pay nothing for it.
- Unlimited bookings
- 3am text alerts
- Stench surge pricing
- A waitlist that outlives your visitors
- Decade view calendar
- Clothespin fulfillment
The trial runs until her next bloom.
Carrion
For institutions with a board, a press office and a smell budget.
Custom
Priced per nostril.
- Everything in Pollinator
- SSO and SOC 2 Type Stench
- An on-site sniffer, nose included
- 99.9% bloom SLA (we can't do this, it's in the contract anyway)
- Choosing a date
- An account manager who also waits
The math, over one bloom cycle
Barb blooms roughly every ten years. Here's what Pollinator costs across one cycle.
| Billing | How it's charged | Per cycle |
|---|---|---|
| Per bloom | $490, once | $490 |
| Annual | $59 a year, for 10 years | $590 |
| Annual "savings" | −$100 |
Annual is still our most popular plan. Finance teams like a line item that shows up every year, even when the flower doesn't.
Billing questions
Why is there an annual plan for a flower that blooms once a decade?
Because the monthly plan churned. People would sign up, wait three months, decide nothing was happening and cancel. They were right, but she bloomed the week after.
What happens if she blooms twice in one billing year?
It's never happened. If it does, we will issue a press release before we issue an invoice.
Do you offer refunds?
No. We've issued zero refunds in the life of the company, which is mostly because the life of the company has had one bloom in it.
Do you have a nonprofit discount?
Nearly every customer is a nonprofit, so the discount is the price. Dale isn't a nonprofit. He pays full price and he's happy about it.