Booking software for one flower.
Corpse flowers bloom every 7 to 10 years, stay open for about 36 hours, and smell like rotting meat on purpose. StinkSlot sells the 15 minutes in front of one. Specifically, in front of Barb.
Trusted by three conservatories and a guy named Dale
Botanical Society Dale's Greenhouse
Book a viewing
Fifteen minutes. Two meters from the spadix.
Pick everything except the date. Barb picks the date.
How it works
Set it up in an afternoon. Use it in 2029.
Connect your flower
Install a StinkSync sensor. It's a tape measure and a volunteer who checks it every morning.
Wait 7 to 10 years
StinkSlot handles the waiting. Honestly, the waiting is most of the product.
Get paged at 3am
When the spadix heats up past 36 °C, every booking gets a text at once, ranked by stench tolerance.
Run the line
Two thousand people show up with their phones out. Each one gets 15 minutes and a clothespin.
Features
Everything one flower needs
Built from the ground up for a single plant that blooms for 36 hours a decade. We turned down every other use case on purpose.
Stench-aware queue
High stench tolerance puts you closer and moves you faster. The front of the line is empty for a reason.
Surge pricing
Slot prices track the odor index in real time. Peak stench is peak revenue.
One alert per decade
Text, push and pager. It fires about once every eight years, at 3am, and it has to work the first time.
A waitlist that outlives you
Unused bookings roll to the next bloom and pass on in your will. The terms include a clause for it.
Pollinator pricing
Carrion beetles and flesh flies book free. They're the only visitors doing actual work.
Decade view
A calendar that shows ten years at once, so you can see exactly how much isn't happening.
Stench forecast
This week at the conservatory
Updated hourly. It has said zero for 0 days in a row.
API
One webhook. It matters a lot.
Subscribe to flower.bloomed and do whatever you want with it. It fires about once a decade, so there is no test mode. You test it in production, in your pajamas.
import { StinkSlot } from '@stinkslot/sdk'; const ss = new StinkSlot({ flower: 'barb' }); const next = await ss.blooms.next(); // { eta: null, window: ['2028-03', '2031-03'], // confidence: 'vibes' } ss.on('flower.bloomed', async () => { await ss.notify.everyone({ at: '03:00', mercy: false }); }); // Last fired 2021-03-02 at 02:47.
Customers
People who were there
"We sold all 144 slots in eleven minutes. Then she bloomed four days early and StinkSlot texted 144 people at 2:51am. Every one of them came. That's the product."
"I've been on the waitlist since 2021. Support says I'm close. They've said that for five years and I still believe them."
"Set it up in an afternoon and didn't log in again for six years. Best software I've ever paid for."
What if she doesn't bloom?
Your booking rolls over to the next bloom. If that's after you die, it goes to whoever you named in your will. The booking form has a clause for this, which you agreed to.
Do you support other plants?
No. Booking software for everyone is the most crowded market in software. Booking software for one specific flower in one specific glasshouse has no competitors at all. We checked. The 17-year cicada came up, and we decided it's a different vertical.
Why does she smell like that?
When Barb blooms she heats her spadix to about body temperature and pushes out dimethyl trisulfide, which smells like rotting meat, and isovaleric acid, which smells like feet. It brings in carrion beetles. It's working as designed.
Can I pick my time slot?
No. Barb opens when she opens, usually at night. You get 15 minutes, and the time is in the text.
Is there a mobile app?
There's a push notification. It fires once a decade at 3am. That's the app.
What data do you keep?
Your name, your phone number and your stench tolerance. The tolerance is the sensitive one. Nothing on this page is actually sent anywhere, because StinkSlot isn't real.
Don't be the one who hears about it on Monday
Book now and you'll find out at 3am like everyone else. Any earlier and we'd need a different flower.
Book a viewing